People were NOT kidding when they told me the last month of pregnancy would be the hardest.
Time has slowed to a crawl. I can't see my feet but if I could they'd be swollen af and my plantar fasciitis has made it nearly impossible to walk for long periods of time which creates a cruel catch 22, since long walks are a well-known way to jumpstart labor. It feels like everyone except me is having their baby--I'll see yet another newborn announcement post in my social media feed and I feel a pang of jealousy. Of course I'm happy for them but I want my baby.
The other night I just sat in the bath tub and cried. Everything hurt and felt overwhelming. Joel came in and asked me what was wrong. I'm just tired of being pregnant I said. He knelt down next to me, looked me in the eyes and told me, you're so close. We're almost there. I thank my lucky stars for him. That was exactly what I needed to hear in that moment.
My due date is next week (9/16) and it's crazy to think it's FINALLY going to happen. Nine months of excitement, planning, dreaming--soon it will all be reality and I'll have a son in my arms. All of his little clothes are folded and put away, ready to be worn. Hospital bags are packed and by the door. I'm sure there are things I'm forgetting but the important stuff is all set and now we wait. And wait. And wait some more.
I'll be the first to admit I am not a patient person. It is something I strive to be better at but this is by far the hardest lesson in that. I've tried all the *tricks* to try and get him to come out in order to avoid induction because Pitocin scares the shit out of me and is something I'd like to avoid at all costs if I can. The Prego Pizza, walking, sex, red raspberry leaf tea, evening primrose oil, bouncing on an exercise ball, etc. But this little guy is being stubborn (I wonder who he gets that from) and seems to want to stay put for the time being.
We had a small scare at our last check up, which really put things into perspective. While my midwife was routinely checking his heart rate she mentioned it was a little lower than usual and that she was sure it's nothing but wanted me to head over to Labor and Delivery just as a precaution to rule anything out. Internally I was fuh-reaking out but somehow I held it together while getting admitted to L&D for fetal monitoring so they could establish a baseline for his heart rate, do an ultrasound and check my amniotic fluid levels. It turned out everything is fine and they must have just caught him in a rare, chill moment during the initial heart rate check. I was told I'm still only half a centimeter dilated but basically almost fully effaced and baby is nice and low (she could feel his head!) Oh, at the moment he's also posterior aka head down but "sunny side up" so that's fun...he better turn the other way once labor starts! The baseline chart apparently also monitors contractions and the nurse pointed to a bunch of squiggly lines and asked if I'd felt the little ones that showed up (I didn't). I joked with Joel that maybe I'll be a world anomaly and I don't feel contractions. Hahahaha YEAH RIGHT!
So that's where we're at. I'll be 39 weeks on Saturday which means one way or another he'll be here in basically less than 14 days, give or take. Wild. This may be the last "bumpdate" before the big day! Fingers crossed. We can't wait (obviously).
Ps; sidenote - I've created a Facebook Page for my blog/website/design business so go ahead and give us a "Like" if you're into that sort of thing. It's linked to my Instagram so I'll be sharing updates related to the site there as well. Cheers!